Theory of Internet connection ~!

Annyeong ~!

Selamat Sejahtera and bon appetite ~! Today is such a good day, with hot weather out there :D I start my day today at 2pm (after having a long, oh no, super long chat with frenz from 3am - 7am!!). Well as utp student usual do, after woke up I go brush my teeth? No no, mandi? No no . . Bersenam (holy crap?). Of coz I go to study!!! (Totally hell crap!!) Ok I know u guys didn’t believe me, Even me myself also didn’t believe it. OK after woke up, the usual thing that utp student will do is . . . go to their PC/Laptop!! Right? Of coz it’s right since me 3 years dy here. So first thing I check is, INTERNET CONNECTION!!!

Erghh again, no connection. Can’t access E-learning but thk god got proxy, at least can on9 gtalk and chat with some lenglui. DC++ is still ok but not many update too. Sigh how I'm going to score Dean's List again this time? (did i purposely put this statement here? hehe) With lack of study equipment and resources then how? Why u guys make that kind of face? Hey I really use internet for study ok? At least by reading latest news of Korean artist can improve bitttttttttttt of my English.

So I think (see sometime I got use my brain, cool right?). Why utp internets like this? It's not like our university is lame (act is super lame) that every time must have this kind of problem. So after having a few discussions with myself and do a research using my comic as reference, I come out with few theory that might answer the question about our university internet connection:



Theory 1: Rat and cockroach

Well, I think this might be the main reason why internet always down. Ya la, if got rat gigit the cable, sure no connection right? Maybe when the technician pasang the cable during the time utp is been developed, some of them tertumpah butter or roti and then it melekat to the cable (u know electricity can make things stick to the cable, never watch X-Men ka?) so the tikus starting to eat the cable. Since utp use high quality cable, the rat take years to eat the cable and wat a luck, this year is our lucky year that the cable putus. So kesian ITMS need to gali back the cable and replace with new one so student please be patient k? :D

Rat eating the cable . . wat a genius rat :D can they just eat at Salam ? or some teppanyaki? MayB Jogoya~!

How about cockroach? Hmphh . . I think the data sending by the cable might mix with coakroach shit so it slows the connection.Or the shit tersumbat at the internet speed button and it set to the lowest speed? Shud ask makcik cleaning to enter the server room la :D Solve the situation dy :D

"My shit can cause havoc to this world!! whahaha . . "

Theory 2: Alien invader?

As u knows, our galaxy is full with alien. Well since our Earth got oxygen, ocean and Britney Spears, so some of the alien is jealous with us and of coz try to conquer our planet :D Before we (eh did I join them?) I mean before they invade Earth, they need to know our weaknesses. Well now they got it, after full research (see utp so lucky become their bahan kajian), they know dy that our weaknesses is the internet. They cut the connection use high level technology like light saber from Star Wars or The Cube from the Transformers to make utp no connection. So u guys during night time can look at the sky mayB can see their UFO fly around here (Pak guard shud saman them la rm30 coz no utp sticker . . .grrr)

"hola ~! We're looking for Womanizer . .oops ~! "

Theory 3: Whale and dolphin (Powerful country plan to conquer Malaysia?)

If u guys still remember the earthquake at Taiwan Sea few years ago, coz of it our Country suffer the blow of slow connection (I still remember my YouTube video all cant download tat time (T_T) ). The internet cable is buried under the sea n the earth quake cause it to malfunction. I think this time they (the bad guy) might do the same thing to slow the connection of our internet. Why? Don't know history? We got Selat Melaka, one of the important sea road in this world, of coz they try to conquer our country. Since they can’t create earthquake, they use some super wave sonic to brainwash and cheat all the whale and dolphin to hit the cable under the sea. But I think this theory is lack of somthing i dunno wat. If whale hit the cable, then . . so kesian them . .blood their body . . then . . shark will eat them . . masak lemak gulai paus? . eh wat i talking about? Ok just watch National Geography for more info k? :D

See this cute animal will hit our internet . . poor them ~!

Theory 4: Forgot to pay internet bill

Maybe ITMS is very busy with the event, ya la u see this sem how many event going on?? Crazy right? Some of my frenz still got event after final (which is I say padan muka :D ) and finance dept busy handling saman money from student that their forgot to pay the bill. Hmphhh everything is impossible right?

Theory 5: Hacker?
Duhh this one not kut . . Why hack elearning? omg so lame hack elearning? For wat? i dont think utp hacker is like this. They all high level one that hack maybe more2 ganas website like g00gl3, y44h00 or M5n (the website name must be cover due to some condition. Ya la u know nowadays if u salah sikit then tada ~! Surat Saman :D ).

Theory 6: LAN merajuk?

Might be kut. Since now everyone crazy with wireless that they can spend whole night sitting their ass at CH and undercroft :D Got proof okie? , V5 DC now always putus2 the connection. See? Told ya don’t mess with mr. LAN :D

Theory 7: Politic situation

Err . . ok i scared later if salah cakap then they kick me to the jail. So this one can think by urself :D . Btw i goverment suppoter so please don't arrest me (^__^)


Theory 8: Micha3l J4cks0n going to release his latest album?

To make sure that no student download his song illegally or getting the teaser of his new MV from internet? So they pay our place to make no connection for student? Wat a brilliant business strategy, sure they got learn SBE subject before huh?

"told ya dont download my song without paying me . . I need money for my nose!! "

Theory 9: Emo?

Well, better one of u remembers back, did any of u make the technician emo with u?? Come come remember fast!! Then go ask for forgiveness to return back the connection to us!!!

Theory 10: Just no connection

Ya. It just no connection. That’s all. Why no connection is just becoz no connection. No special reason or special delivery from pizza 4ut. (^__^)

Well, we see the power of internet in our life. See even a nice pretty cute lady can change her caption at gtalk curse internet or the technician. The moral of the story (waseh follow molly again? hohho plagiarize) is, watch Southpark season 12 ep. 6 title "Over logging" sure u will smile coz u will know the important of the internet through that episode :D like Randy from Southpark said "If we dont treat the internet with the respect that it deserve,it could be one day be gone forever . . "

- Randy -

shinda88
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